did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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