i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
