Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sorry about my life...
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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