I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
