You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
