The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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