This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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