Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
