If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
