whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
