Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Randomize
