I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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