living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What drink are we having for lunch?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
