I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
...so i touched it.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
