I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
