Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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