I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
