THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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