God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
