Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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