Yo dont text me then not text me
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
