I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
