erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
