I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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