Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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