dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
