I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
