He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
