Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
