you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
