Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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