i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
