we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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