A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it glows. i had to have it.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
