you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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