I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
