i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
