You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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