woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
