After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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