he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
