How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
