It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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