Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
