Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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