i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
