Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i need some magic done to my vagina
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
