Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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