I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
