Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
