i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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