I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
